Ten Reasons Why Someone at the AARP is Seriously Confused

Here's the story.  By all means... Enjoy.  We sure did.

On Saturday Mr. Pihl checked the mail and handed me an "official" looking envelope.  Fifteen-plus years of serious shopping told me that a plastic card was what I was feeling inside the generally unmarked delivery.

Assuming it was our new health cards (or something similar), I tore it open while chatting to Mr. Pihl about the weather, how crazy our bird is, and what we were going to make for the Sunday potluck the following afternoon.

Suddenly, I stopped dead in my tracks, emitted an audible gasp that would've made Scarlett O'Hara proud, gaped open-mouthed at the aforementioned plastic card, and shoved the contents of the "official" looking letter into Mr. Pihl's face.

This was inside.

Uncontrollable laughter erupted immediately from both of us, followed by tears of excessive amusement from mostly me.

And I do mean excessive.

Upon examination, I feel the need to relay a few things to the AARP.  Just to make sure we're on the same page.  I mean, this is a serious commitment we're talking about, here!  I won't enter into anything lightly.  Just ask Mr. Pihl how long it takes me to decide on what style of photo books to choose for our parents.  Or how long I hemmed and hawed about fitness trackers.

Back to the subject.

AARP... I have a few observations, questions, thoughts, and one or two suggestions for you:

1. Steve Cone, Director of Membership: I want to know where you get your information.
2. My current age is less than 30 but more than 25.  That's not exactly close to your prescribed "50" Mr. Cone.
3. So is this my card, or isn't it?  AARP, you're a little confusing.
4. I suppose that it's never too early to start planning, but this might be a little excessive.
5. Exactly how durable is this free mini day bag you boast of?  A $16 membership might just be worth it.  I'm all about free stuff.
6. Can I still play the free games on your site if I don't join?  Did you know that the AARP has a game page?!  Enabling retired computer gamers everywhere.
7. Membership covers your spouse as well.  So, Mr Cone...  This is a 2-for-1 special?  Does it count if my spouse is under 50?  Obviously you've chosen to ignore that little gem for me, so...
8. What kind of awards has your magazine actually won?  You made the claim, Mr. Cone, not me.
9. I know I'm getting a few white-ish-gray hairs already, but is it really necessary to rub it in?  Not cool, AARP.
10. When it all comes down to it... Thanks for the laugh AARP.  You have quite the sense of humor.

Har har har.

I think I should receive a mini day bag for the heck of it, don't you?